Remember Who You Are

     To those familiar with Disney's "The Lion King" this may seem a cliche title, but the lesson that it teaches is profound.  Simba had run away from his life and the kingdom he was supposed to inherit.  Though rightfully a king he chose the life of an outcast because of fear.  His deceased father told Simba that he needed to remember who he was and go and take his kingdom that had been corrupted by his power-hungry uncle.
     While we are not kings, we each have values and desires that define who we are and who we want to be.   Often we do things that we don't feel good about and we wish that we could do better.  More important than simply doing better is being better.  If we are striving to be the person we want to be then the things that we want to do as that person will naturally come.  If we work to become a king, then we will do kingly things.  On the other hand if we work to become scum, then we will do despicable things.
     Decide what is important to you and what you want to accomplish in life, then decide what kind of person would do those things.  Work every day to become that person.  Ask yourself "Who am I?" and answer yourself with the kind of person you are striving to be.  Whenever you have to decide if you want to do something or not ask yourself "Am I the kind of person who would do that?"  If the answer is no then don't do it.  When you know who you are making choices becomes much simpler because the answers are already inside of you.
     Who you are and who you want to be don't necessarily have to be constant.  As you advance through life, you may decide that different values are important to you and you need to be a different person in order to fulfill those things.  Take care and time in deciding who you are.  Be sure that the answer to your question of who you are is always one that will lead you to happiness and even greater heights than you are now.
     Some of us define who we are by our family.  Others by organizations they belong to.  Others by religion.
     I define myself by values that have become important to me, my religion, and titles I have earned that have special meaning to me.

Who am I?

I am Quinn Thomson

I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.

I live by:

Love,

Honor,

Respect,

Service,

And Truth.

I am an Eagle Scout and a brotherhood member of the Order of the Arrow

I am a son of God, 

And a brother and disciple of Jesus Christ.

     We are each unique individuals with unique capabilities.  Though we are diverse I know that each of us have the potential for greatness if we can remember who we are and what we are capable of.  Never forget who you are.

Be Proud of Who and What You Are Part Four: We need eachother

     Life is not meant to be a solo act, it is a team sport.  We are meant to work together primarily as husband and wife.  Men and women each have unique characteristics that allow each to do great things, but when we can humble ourselves enough to admit that we need the other we can accomplish truly amazing things.  We need someone to complement our strengths.  We each have weaknesses, but with the help of someone else those weaknesses can be covered.  Think of roof shingles.  Individually they have gaps and won't work to protect the house from water, but when the shingles are laid out properly the gaps of one shingle are covered by another shingle.

     "Why does that person that covers your weaknesses and watches your back have to be of the opposite sex?  Why can't I work with someone of my own sex?"  As I stated before men and women have natural strengths that work together in a way I can't fully understand.  If I could put it into words I would, but I can't.  As big as this world is there is someone out there that will fit you that is of the opposite sex.  Working together with that person will bring you more joy and greater success than you could ever hope to on your own or working with someone of your same sex.  Yes when I say working together I mean marriage.  Marriage is indeed something you have to work at, and it really will bring you the greatest joy.

     Look at men and women physically.  Look at all of nature physically.  In order for any species to survive the male and female have to come together.  The male and female fit together and each has something the other cannot give.  Males can't give milk to their young and females can't keep the young fed and warm while at the same time protecting the nest and gathering food for herself and her mate.  If men were meant to work best with men and women with women then nature would have evolved so that they could create life and sustain the species that way.  We are the way we are for a reason.

What does intelligence mean?

     I was reflecting recently on what it means to be smart or a genius.  When I was in high school my calculus teacher said to me "You're brilliant, but you waste your potential."  I came to the conclusion that brilliance really doesn't mean anything if you don't use it to do something.

     There are four groupings of a person's ability: stupid, smart, brilliant, and genius, and the differences between them are as follows:


Stupid: has little ability and doesn't work. Result: nothing
Smart: has little ability, but works hard.   Result: great things
Brilliant:         has lots of ability, but doesn't work Result: nothing
Genius: has lots of ability and works hard Result: great things.

     As you can see, in the final analysis it doesn't matter how "intelligent" a person is; the only thing that matters is what you do with what you have.  Even if you have all the ability in the world, if you don't work then you will accomplish nothing and you may as well have been born an idiot, for that is how history will remember you.  If, on the other hand, you have average ability/intelligence, work hard and accomplish great things, then history will look at you and say "Wow that person did great things.  He/she must have been a genius."

     The choice is yours.

Patriotism

     It’s been eleven years since the terrorist attacks on the twin towers in New York and it seems like that event is fading into the past.  I’m ok with the attack itself being forgotten; the part that bothers me is that the feeling of unity and patriotism that we felt after that day is being forgotten.  I think it important to have unity as a people and to remember what our flag stands for. 

      In The Book Of Mormon there was a military general named Moroni, often called Captain Moroni.  In an effort to rally his soldiers and to remind them of what they were fighting for he ripped off his coat and wrote on it: "In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children"  He then raised it on a pole and went throughout his country waving it on high and calling people to fight for all that they held dear.

      Our flag is the same way.  It reminds us of all the things we care about; things that are worth fighting for and even more worth remembering.  It’s a reminder of all the battles that have been fought and all the assistance that Heaven granted us so that this country could exist.  God guided the creation of this country so that his righteous purposes could roll forth.  The more people forget all of that, the less righteous this country becomes, and the fewer blessings we will receive until perhaps one day we are destroyed entirely.  Let us stand together not only as citizens of the United States of America, but as people throughout all humanity, dedicated to a better world.

Be Proud of Who and What You Are Part Three: Masculinity

     Men.  Are we an endangered species?  As I see more and more boys rather than men or men who while mature don't act like "men" I am beginning to think so.  Over-sized boys, and so called men who don't take responsibility are trying to take over the race of men. (When I say men here I mean specifically men and not human kind in general.  I don't endorse male superiority any more than I do female superiority.  Both sexes have many things to offer each other.)

     Now before anyone tries to find me and burn me at the stake, read the rest of this article and give me a chance to explain myself.  First I'll address the issue of boys, men who don't take responsibility and finally I'll go on to say what men ought to be.

     Over-sized boys come in many varieties: gaming addictions, guys who are too in love with their toys, and guys who just don't want to grow up and take responsibility to name a few.  I don't actually have a problem with guys playing games, whether card, board, video, or (gulp) larp (live action role play for those of you unfamiliar with the term.  The most common examples being Dungeons and Dragons or variations of medieval reenactment mixed with fantasy).  I play the first three types myself from time to time.  As long as you don't take it to excess I say game on.  Excess can be either playing too much or games that are pornographic, or excessively vulgar or gory.  If you can set the game aside within say two minutes to do something else (take care of chores, service, go outside, play with your kids, etc.) then you are okay.  (Two minutes should be plenty of time to save your game)  Being too in love with your toys follows the same guidelines of gaming.  I am all for snowmobiling as long as its priority level remains below family, work and other responsibilities.  We all need something to unwind every now and then.  Many of these activities are also great ways to spend time with family and build relationships.  The bottom line is moderation in all things.

     A man ought to be willing to take on responsibility.  He ought to be able to take care of not only himself, but also family when he finds a woman to share his life with and begins a family.  It's okay to ask others for help, but don't ask others to do your job for you.  Also when others ask you to do something or you say that you will, do it.  Without exception.  True it can be scary to start out on your own and have to "grow up" and be mature, but it is well worth the effort.  Don't worry if you are not perfect.  Just give your best effort and you will get better, and in the meantime it will be enough.

     A man has three primary responsibilities in the home: to provide, preside and to protect.  Men are well suited to these duties.  We are able to provide and protect because men are typically better than women at putting aside emotion and doing what needs to be done.  To preside doesn't mean to dictate.  It means to lead.  A leader leads by example and listens to those under his charge.  He takes responsibility for his group's shortcomings and also for their successes.  In presiding, a man's most trusted counselor, and equal partner is his wife.  Saying that men are well suited to these duties doesn't mean that women can't do them as well.  I've said before that men and women need to work together and in some cases do the other's "job".

     We each have natural abilities that we need to use to benefit all around us.  Whatever those gifts are use them.  You won't have all of them but someone else will have the gifts that you lack and it is by working together that we are complete.

Be Proud of Who and What You Are, Part Two: Femininity

     So many women are prone to look down on themselves and think they are not good enough.  That trend has become even more noticeable with the rise in feminism and women trying to compete with men.  There is no reason to compete at all.  Women have great value and are equal in value with men even though men and women have different attributes that separate them.

     I want to talk for a bit about what feminism should really mean.  Feminism should be a search for women to magnify the qualities that make them women.  The very qualities that some look down on as being weak are the qualities that make women so wonderful, and amazing.  As a young man seeking a companion in life, I want to find a woman who is ladylike and happy to let me treat her like a lady.

     Let me first talk about some of the things I try to do for the women around me and the reasons I do them.  I have had a few women wonder why I open the door for them or other chivalrous things.  I have been told on more than one occasion something to the effect of "Why do you open the door for me? I can do it myself."  Of course you can open the door yourself.  I don't do it because I think you are incapable of doing it yourself.  I do it because it is one way in which I can say "Hey I think you are pretty special and I want to do something nice for you."  I look up to the women in my life because they have inherent beauty inside of them that I can't begin to comprehend.  I want to put the women I care about on a pedestal and never let anything bad happen to them.  Of course they can take care of themselves and they don't need to me to take care of them, but because I love them I want to do everything I can to help them, and to show that I care.

     Okay now on to what those qualities are that I praise and adore.  Women are much more emotional than men are.  They have a greater capacity to love than I can understand.  For example, their ability to take a child and love, and comfort him/her even when the reason for their sorrow may seem absurd, is incredible.  There have been countless times in my life that my mom did that for me and in hindsight I wonder why I even needed comfort.  My mom didn't laugh, she just loved me.  Women do that much more naturally than men and that is one of the primary reasons that women should be in the home raising children, not because "its a woman's place" or "women's work".  (Note that I am in no way advocating that men be not involved with their children's lives.  On the contrary I think it essential that they are involved.  Men have things to offer the family as well that I will get into in part three of this series.  I myself intend to make regular time for my children during which I put aside everything else just for them.)

     Women are generally more spiritual than men.  In my church at least, there are typically more women than men that are active, especially among the youth.  Being able to trust and believe in something is a great strength.  I have written in other places my views on the necessity of believing in God.

     The last thing I want to talk about that I admire in women is their ability to bear children.  I am sure some of you are thinking "You're raving mad!  Having kids is no picnic."  I know it is not easy, which is one more reason I respect women for being able and willing to do it, and in many cases, joyful.  With all of our scientific might we are still not able to do something that women have been able to do since the beginning of time.  Oh but we can clone.  Isn't that creating life?  Nope.  We just take an egg cell from a female of whatever it is we are trying to clone and then insert some DNA.  Nothing we can make in a lab can compare with the wonders of our own bodies in any way.

     Here is one more thought about giving birth.  I believe that Satan and his followers don't have a body and never will.  They are jealous of all of us who have bodies.  that is one reason why they hate us so much.  Now take that one step further.  Women not only have a body but they can create bodies so that more people can come to earth.  Of course the best place to grow and develop is in a family with a mother and father.  That is the plan that our Heavenly Father has laid out for us.  Makes sense that Satan would fight us so much to destroy families.

Be Proud of Who And What You Are Part One: Men and Women are different yet equal

     Men and Women are different.  Big news flash right?  Unfortunately for some it just might be.  From the feminist movement to the so called decline of men to making words uni-sexual (for example, there are no actors and actresses, there are only actors) men and women are becoming less and less distinguishable.

     To the feminists, and all other women as well, out there: you don't have to act like a man to be equal to one.  Just because you have different qualities doesn't mean you are are any less than men.  Aren't we taught when we are young that its okay to be different and that we shouldn't be ashamed of who we are?  Shouldn't that carry on into adulthood?  We are all different for a reason.  We all have things that make us unique and special that we can give to the world.  So what if 50% of the population is more prone to certain qualities, and the other 50% is prone to certain other qualities. (read: so what if the population can be divided into two main groupings, namely men and women)

     To the men, particularly those of you who may be in the declining part, man up!  I'm all for getting in touch with your feminine side; sometimes we need to be more "feminine" in order to do certain things, women have to be more "masculine" sometimes too.  But don't go overboard.  You are a man so be proud of it.  A favorite TV show of mine says "The Man's Prayer" at the end of every episode.  It is as follows:

I am a man,

but I can change.

If I have to. . .

I guess.

     The good news is you don't have to change.  Hopefully none of you want to.  You shouldn't.

     Men and women will accomplish more together than either of them could ever hope to apart.  Look at a Yin Yang symbol.  The black and white mix together and both have some of the other inside them.  Separate they are limited, but together they form a whole, a circle in fact.  Circles are a symbol of completion.  Men and women are complete only when they come together.  Neither alone is better than the other, but both together are far more than either alone.

Where is Happiness

This is a story I heard in church a week ago.  I'm sure there are many variations of the story but the message is the same.

       "When man was created there were some elves who wanted to cause some mischief for mankind and decided to hide something very special from him-his happiness.  They talked for some time about where to hide it so as to be very difficult for man to find.
A suggestion was made to hide it on the highest mountain peak, but as man was adventurous eventually one would climb and find happiness and share it with all.
A second elf suggested to hide it in the deepest part of the ocean, but another elf said that mankind was too clever and would eventually build a contraption to dive to the deepest depths and find it.
A third elf proposed to hide it on the moon, but it was decided that man was brave and always exploring new territory and would eventually find his way to the moon.
Finally a wise old elf came up with the perfect solution.  They would hide happiness inside man himself.  In all his searching in the universe man would surely never think to look inside himself to find happiness."

All too often we forget that happiness is to be found in us not in stuff.  It's best found with other people, especially when we are working to make them happy instead of worrying about ourselves.

Repentance and Moving Onward

After going through some tough times and making a few mistakes in my life I found myself wanting to go back to the way things were.  I was continually frustrated because, although I didn't see it initially, you simply can't go back to how things used to be.  As Frodo says near the end of The Lord of The Rings "How do pick up the threads of an old life?  How do you go on?  But in your heart you begin to realize that there is no going back."  The only way we move is forward; that doesn't mean its always in a good direction or the way we want to go, just that we only go forward, never back.

Finally I realized one day that repentance and the atonement of Jesus Christ doesn't change the past.  The Lord tells us that when we repent we are forgiven and he doesn't remember our sins anymore (Doctrine and Covenants 58:42).  In his wisdom he allows us to remember our sins; He wants us to continue to learn from them and to not repeat them so he doesn't take away the memory of them, only the pain and guilt.  As the prophet Alma the younger said of his conversion "I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more." (The Book of Mormon, Alma 36:19)  Clearly he remembered the things he had done but wasn't weighed down with guilt and pain anymore.  The atonement allows us to move forward in spite of our mistakes.

It amazes me how much the Lord loves us.  He allows us the chance to grow and improve, and eventually to return to him, even though we make mistakes.

Embrace Your True Self

Why is it that some people are afraid to be themselves?  Why are some afraid to let their true selves shine?  I myself sometimes struggle with being who I really am, but have learned to be comfortable in my own skin just as I am, though it usually takes a little time to adjust.  Often when I get into a new area or meet new people I am shy and don't let people see the real me.  However it has rarely turned out bad when I relax and be myself.

I personally am often worried about being thought of as weird and not fitting in with others.  I think that's the main reason that people are sometimes afraid to be themselves.  They have a fear of rejection.  We want people to like us, and so we do what we think they want us to do rather than we want to do.

The truth of the matter is that people like us best when we like ourselves best-when we are exactly who we are and not hiding beneath masks.  No matter how odd some of our characteristics may seem we can almost always find someone who is just like us, and those that aren't usually appreciate the differences that make us unique.

Not only are we happier when we don't hide from the world we are also more productive.  Whether its a quiet environment or one with lots of noise we all have our comfort zones.  In order to grow we sometimes have to go outside of our comfort zones, but we also need time inside our comfort zones.  I for one am fairly introverted and like quiet and calm to work in.  My best ideas usually come when I have no one to talk to but myself, often on walks.  Ideas will come to me when I am in loud groups as well, but they often develop fully when I have time to reflect by myself.

Whatever it is that you are, embrace it.  Don't be ashamed if you are different than most people.  You are the way you for a reason.  You have talents and abilities that no one else has-let them shine.

My Values: Truth

Truth is how things really are.  We are constantly searching for truth and coming ever closer to it.  Truth doesn't change with time or popular trends.  We can try to change it, but in trying to do so we often change ourselves.  It is when we try to challenge truth that we learn what it really is and let it help us.  Sometimes we find something greater than what we thought was true such as people exploring the world and finding it was round and not flat.  Other times we find that the truth is solid and we change ourselves.

Truth can come from many sources-science, religion, philosophy and others.  Where it comes from doesn't matter.  If it really is true, then it won't conflict with other sources.

Often we have to work with the best option available and then later find a more complete view.  It's okay to take small steps to finding truth as long as we don't give up the search before we find the real truth.  Once we find truth we can use the knowledge to help us be happier, better people.

As important, if not more so, as searching for truth is dealing in truth.  We must seek to be honest in all our dealings with others.

My Values: Service

There aren't nearly enough acts of kindness in the world anymore.  Simple acts of service can make unimaginable differences.  Acts as simple as smiling at someone and asking how their day has been.  We often don't see the far reaching effects of our deeds.  For example the person that we smile and talk to for a while may in turn decide to reconnect with an old friend that thought no one cared, and was on the verge of leaving this world.  In chaos theory its called the butterfly effect-small acts causing huge changes such as a butterfly flapping its wings and causing a string of events that results in a tornado on the other side of the world.

In the movie pay it forward the main character makes a plan to change the world by doing acts of kindness for three people who rather than pay him back are supposed to do three more acts of kindness and so on until everyone in the world as been touched by an act of kindness.  Who's to say that such a thing couldn't really happen?  It could.  It starts with a single act.

Simply thinking about doing good deeds isn't enough.  "We have to actually do them.  The smallest good deed is greater than the greatest good intention." "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."  I don't know who was the first those great words but the message is worth thinking about.

What good deeds will we do?  How will we change our world for good?

My Values: Respect

Respect is about treating people right and being kind and open to their ideas, beliefs, religions and etc.  It doesn't mean we adopt their beliefs or ideas, but that we can listen to them and their point of view and accept it as valid, or if it is not valid in any way that we can help them understand that without offending them.

Respect is also about rules and etiquette.  In any society or group there are certain rules that must be followed in order to live in harmony.  Following the rules doesn't chain us down but shows that we can master ourselves and conduct ourselves with dignity.

A gentleman knows how to properly treat women as well as men, using chivalry and good manners.  A lady does the same in her sphere.  Being respectful also means being gracious to others, whether they are treating us kindly and we feel that we don't deserve it, or if they are treating us poorly.

Self respect means caring about yourself and not living below your standards.  It is knowing your worth and where you come from and acting accordingly.

My Values: Love

There are many kinds of love.  We can love a person romantically, or as family or friend.  We love objects or certain activities.  It can range from caring for someone's well being even though you may not like the person or agree with their ideas to the deepest most passionate love that should exist between husband and wife.

We should have love for all people for the simple reason that they are people and have thoughts and feelings just like we do.  We don't have to agree with their ideas or ways of life, but we can still love them.  For example I don't agree with the homosexual way of life, but I still love those people and see them as people with every bit as much potential as I have.  They are children of the same divine being, God, that I love and worship and who loves them as much as he loves me.  Love for other people in its most mature form is not conditional, but extended to all, regardless of their choices.

Love for people guides us to help them be the best that they can and to treat them with the respect they deserve.  Love for God helps us have gratitude for all that he has done for us and to see all the wonders that are in this world that he has created.  How can we not love God when we take time to see how beautiful the world is?  Love and gratitude go hand in hand.  We need to express that love to those we love often and honestly.  As Shakespeare said "They do not love that do not show their love."

Between husband and wife there should exist the deepest strongest love that we can imagine.  That kind of love doesn't come easily but must be nurtured.  When we have that kind of love we are true and faithful to our husbands or wives.  That love is further extended to children and helps us to do whatever we can to develop their potential.  A home where love is truly felt by all is the best environment for children to grow.

My Values: Honor

According to the Merriam Webster online dictionary the definition of integrity is:
1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values :incorruptibility.
I also like definition part three:
: the quality or state of being complete or undivided :completeness.


These definitions also serve to define part of what honor is.  Honor is all about being true to yourself and to your group, whether that group be your family, company, a circle of friends or whatever group you choose.  In each case there are certain rules, whether written down or unwritten rules that are simply known by all those involved.  Its good to have these rules written down so they can be used as a self check to see how you are doing but one should be careful to not focus on the rules in and of themselves or lose sight of the reason that the rules exist-to help each of us be the best person we can be.


I like the third definition of integrity because when you live honorably you are more complete, and able to reach your full potential.  You aren't struggling with yourself and are therefore not divided.


As part of a group I was once asked the question "When you are by yourself are you in good company?"  An honorable person will be able to answer yes.  Such a person is happy with life, because he or she is sure in the knowledge that at the end of the day there will be no regrets.  Always they are doing their very best at whatever task they are set, no matter how mundane it may be.  They are prepared for the storms of life and rather than be stressed and hurried to prevent damage when a sudden storm comes they are able to sleep when it rains.

Do whatever needs to be done so that when you are by yourself you can be in good company.

Its Not a Perfect World. . .Yet

Occasionally when people complain about some injustice or something that should be better but isn't they are met with a response similar to "If this were a perfect world. . ."  It is implied that because the world is not perfect you just have to deal with some things.  I see it as an excuse rather than an explanation and really don't like it.

The world has problems yes, but that doesn't mean it has to be that way.  The world is what we make of it.  If we work towards making it better it will become better little by little.  If instead of saying "If this were a perfect world. . ." we said "There is something wrong so what can we do to fix it?" and then did that something how much better would the world be?

Some may call me an idealist, but I firmly believe that we can make the world as perfect as we want.  As a final thought let me share some words from George Bernard Shaw: "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."

Let me also share the last stanza of Invictus by William Ernest Henley:

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

Let us take our fate and that of the world into our own hands and begin to make a perfect world.

My Values

I read an article the other day about defining core values.  I have had three core values that have guided my life for about six years now, but after reading the article decided to add two as well as renew my desire to live by these values.

Everyone should have values to live by.  They give you a sense of direction in life and help you make important decisions.  Instead of coming to a decision making point and wondering what to do you can simplify the process by checking to see if it is in line with your values.

The three values I have had for a while are honor, respect and service, and I added truth and love.

Honor is about doing the right thing for the right reasons.  Its doing what you should when you should and being where you should when you should.

Respect means taking care of people and things around you and treating them right.  It can be anything from respecting peoples' property to showing reverence to peoples' beliefs and culture, to simply having good manners.  Its also important to respect yourself and not live below your standards.

Service is fairly simple.  Just do good things whenever you have the chance.  Instead of paying someone back for something they have done for you, think about paying it forward and spreading acts of kindness.

Love means love for family, friends, God and anyone who is human.  It goes beyond simply respecting someone to truly caring for them as a person.

Truth is not limited to just what science can tell us.  Truth should be sought for and accepted from wherever it comes.  I seek truth from science as well as religion.  Quite often those two are not put together but if something is true why should it matter where it comes from?  Both science and religion seek for truth and should be in complete agreement if they truly find truth.

Someday I may write more on each of those values, but for now an overview is enough.  Choose your own virtues and start your path to a better more fulfilling life and of course better thinking.

Belief in God

Today I was given a chance to reflect on my relationship with God.  I realized that I haven't had the best relationship with Him recently, and that it is affecting all aspects of my life.  I know that at times when my relationship is better with him that life just seems to go smoother.  My mind is clearer and I feel less stress.

A belief in God is an essential trait in any good person, whether they consider themselves to be thinkers or not. All good things come from God and the sooner we get that through our heads and just do what He asks us the better off we will be.  Nikola Tesla said "The gift of mental power comes from God, Divine Being, and if we concentrate our minds on that truth, we become in tune with this great power."  If we align our lives with God then knowledge, happiness, peace and every other good thing will flow into our lives more fully.  Life will not be easy but it will be better.

Following the Spirit

Recently I had an experience that taught me a very important lesson.  I was weeks away from being married, taking 18 credits at college and was under a lot of stress.  It caused me a lot of problems and I wasn't very happy like I should have been.  During a particularly difficult weekend I went home to visit family, and my mom took some time to talk to me about what I was going through.  She helped me realize something I had known for a long time but chosen not to admit-that I was not in a very good relationship and needed to change it.

My fiance had come to visit at Thanksgiving and at that time I had a feeling that maybe I should break up with her, but convinced myself that everything was ok and kept dating her.  Just before I went to visit her for Christmas (I proposed to her when I visited) I had another feeling that maybe this wasn't a good idea, but again convinced myself that everything was ok. 

As time went on things got worse until I came to the weekend during which my mom talked to me about my situation.  I finally admitted what I had felt and known for a long time and decided to break up with her.  It was hard, but we both knew it was the right thing to do.  Since that time I have felt like myself again, a feeling I hadn't had in while, and I felt peace.

You can call those feelings that I had a gut feeling, conscience, shoulder angel or whatever you want.  I call it the spirit and I firmly believe it is sent from God and that through that spirit He will direct us to paths that will make us most happy in life.  Whatever you call it I know that life works a lot better when we follow the spirit.