After going through some tough times and making a few mistakes in my life I found myself wanting to go back to the way things were. I was continually frustrated because, although I didn't see it initially, you simply can't go back to how things used to be. As Frodo says near the end of The Lord of The Rings "How do pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on? But in your heart you begin to realize that there is no going back." The only way we move is forward; that doesn't mean its always in a good direction or the way we want to go, just that we only go forward, never back.
Finally I realized one day that repentance and the atonement of Jesus Christ doesn't change the past. The Lord tells us that when we repent we are forgiven and he doesn't remember our sins anymore (Doctrine and Covenants 58:42). In his wisdom he allows us to remember our sins; He wants us to continue to learn from them and to not repeat them so he doesn't take away the memory of them, only the pain and guilt. As the prophet Alma the younger said of his conversion "I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more." (The Book of Mormon, Alma 36:19) Clearly he remembered the things he had done but wasn't weighed down with guilt and pain anymore. The atonement allows us to move forward in spite of our mistakes.
It amazes me how much the Lord loves us. He allows us the chance to grow and improve, and eventually to return to him, even though we make mistakes.
I wish I learned those lessons as fast as you. You're pretty neat that way.
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