Stop Waiting For Life to Begin

     I once read an article directed towards women that advised them not to wait around for prince charming. Although they were still encouraged to marry, they should do more than wait for some dashing young man to sweep them off their feet and solve all their problems.

     I firmly agree with that and its further application to all people.  None of us should sit around waiting and wondering "when will my life begin?"

     Although I have been going to school and preparing to become an electrical engineer, I realized that I was waiting to meet my princess and begin a family.  Its good of course to want to marry, but it had nearly become the sole purpose of my existence.  I had been saying to myself without realizing it, that once I was able to marry and start a family, then my life would really begin, I just had to be patient.

     After a rather painful breakup I began to realize what I was doing.  I decided that I needed to stop waiting for my life to begin and make it begin!  I needed to take advantage of every opportunity to grow and devolop myself, whether single or married.

     How many of us have let opportunity pass us by because we were waiting for something else?  I personally would rather not think about how many opportunitites I lost, because I was waiting for something else instead of seizing the gift right in front of me.  Now is the time to change all of that.  Today is the day to make myself into the man I want to be.  While I believe I will grow in many and unexpected ways when I do marry, there is no reason why I cannot be my own person now.  In fact it is probably essential to finding the greatest happiness I can in marriage that I work to make myself as complete and refined a man as I can.

     Don't let another opportunity slip past because you are waiting for something.  Take charge of your life and when opportunity knocks, invite it in for a drink.  When another one comes by, invite it in as well and make it a party.  If it seems that your house is empty of such guests, then make an opportunity for yourself.  At all times strive to develop, learn, and grow.

Perfect Effort

     As I was walking to church today and thinking about life and how I wanted to change and not be so critical of myself I had this thought: "98% of the time I can't get perfect results, but I can give perfect effort."

     For most of my life I have held very high expectations of myself.  I often compared myself to others and was also critical of others.  It wasn't really that I meant to be offensive or thought that the person was doing a bad job I would just think how they could do it better.  I have a very analytic  mind and it is natural for me to see something or someone and take it apart in my mind, either to see how it works or how to make it better. (I often take real things apart to see how they work as well.  I'm a stereotypical engineer)
 
     Being so critical of myself and expecting perfection of myself has led to lots of pain for me.  I was a perfectionist and it was hurting me.  I should say is hurting me because it is still something I am working on.  This last week has been really hard for me and I have been struggling to be happy instead of focusing on the negative aspects of my life.  I decided that I should try to worry more about the effort I am putting into something and make sure I am simply doing my best at it, regardless of how it turns out.

     Its good to reach for the stars and to try to be the best I can, but not when it damages me.  My branch president encouraged me to simply let go.  He said I should go float on a river and just let the river take me wherever it wanted to go, but to do that with my mind.  He said it is good that my mind works the way it does, but I don't have to be that way all the time.  Sometimes I need to just go with the flow.

     In the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible it says "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."  There are times that I need to use my mind's full capacity and work as hard as I can, and there are other times that I need to slow down and not worry.

     I need to recognize that some things really don't matter in the long run and just go with whatever sounds good at the time, enjoy the moment, and then move on.  There are also some things that I can't do anything about so I need to just let them go and not worry.

     Some day I, and every other person, will be perfect in all things, but in the mean time I just need to try my best no matter the outcome, and be happy with life.

Life's a balancing act

     How many of us have ever struggled to find balance in life?  Whether it be balancing time at work vs time with family, balancing study, social life and sleep, or whatever.  Life is full of tasks and activities vying for our attention and trying to get everything done can be a challenge.
     For most of us the balancing act doesn't end with time management either.  I try to balance my personal development, and not focus too much in one area and not at all in another.  I try to balance my life goals.  Balance having fun and letting loose vs trying to be able to take life seriously and think deeply about things and just be me.
     Often times I think of balance as being static; as if once I find this perfect, happy medium that everything will be great and I'll never have to worry again.  At least I used to think like that.  I realize now that balance is very dynamic.  When a person is "standing still" they are really making hundreds of micro-adjustments to their stature so that they stay balanced.  Fortunately our brains are very good at this so we don't have to consciously think about adjusting ourselves, its automatic.
     Life is the same.  We don't find one perfect way of dealing with everything and then never change again.  We constantly change ourselves and adjust to meet all of life's demands.  Take life one step at a time on a case by case basis.  Do what must be done, when it must be done.
     "To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose on the heaven;" (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Myths, Legends and Truth

     Why do we make stories about extraordinary people?  People who have abilities that could never happen or people with ordinary abilities that do extraordinary things?
     I began to think about these questions after watching a movie about wizards and magic.  People all around the world from the beginning of time have created legends and stories about incredible people and incredible deeds.  From stories about gods and titans to fairy tales to stories about completely average kids who have an unbelievable adventure playing baseball and facing a nemesis known as "The Beast".
     I believe it is because we are searching for something.  Two things actually.  We are trying to find something greater than ourselves, and we are trying to find out who we are.
     A quote from a movie says "I had a professor once who liked to tell his students there were only ten different plots in all of fiction.  Well I am here to tell you he was wrong.  There is only one. . . 'Who am I?'"  Every story we tell is simply us trying to find out who we are.  We make up stories to explore ourselves and the world, values and morals in order to find what resonates with us; what feels right; what will give us a clue as to who we are.
     Our stories give us a chance to escape.  For a time we are free.  In the world of our imagination we can be whoever or whatever we want to be.  There are no rules.  It is the perfect place for us to explore life.  If we try one set of ideas and things don't work then we know that that is not who we are and nothing is lost.
     Inside each of us there is a yearning to make sense of life.  We long to understand, not only who we are, but why are things the way they are.  Is there any rhyme or reason?  Is there a plan?  Is there anything beyond what at times seems to be a dreary and tiresome journey?
     We all hope that there is, and though we can't explain why, we all feel that there must be something out there if we could only find it.  The Greeks made stories of gods who ruled the world and created man.  Other cultures made stories of powerful beings full of wisdom that were able to give guidance to those who sought it.  In our day there is an infinite variety of ways to imagine something that is better than what is around us.
     The bottom line of both questions, "Who am I?" and "Is there something out there that is in control?" comes from the same feelings that make us create all forms of art, to make something better than it was before, and to try to do good things for others.  We know instinctively that we must have come from somewhere, and wherever that somewhere is there must be a something, whether it be some great unknowable power or a being much like ourselves, but all powerful, that guides the universe.
     My goal here is not say what is out there ruling the universe or to tell you how to find the answer to any questions.  I only say that there must be something out there and there must be answers to all of our questions.

I recommend the reader read "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis.  I also recommend the reader investigate The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That is the church to which I belong, and which I believe to be true and able to answer all of life's questions.

Slow Down

     So many people move much too fast in this world.  I don't mean running or speeding, but dashing about from one task or project to another, always in constant motion.  How many of us wouldn't know what to do with our time if we didn't have our internet ready cellphone always at hand to entertain us?  Even if you use it to make you more efficient in your job, or to educate yourself (both of which are admirable activities) you may still be rushing too much and missing things.  To our detriment multitasking has become commonplace.

     Take time to smell the roses.  Seriously.  This world is full of wonderful and beautiful things that many if not most of us pass by.  I'm not saying you need to be a nature lover or anything, but take time to appreciate life.  Doing so will relieve stress and give your mind time to clear so that you can be more efficient and more healthy.  "Mind wandering", or thinking about other things rather than being "in the moment", has been shown to cause unhappiness.

     Go on a walk, either alone or with a friend.  Have a picnic in a park with your loved one(s).  Go cloud-watching.  Take time to go talk to an old friend rather than send a hasty message.  Put your phone on silent and have a nice dinner with your family.  Whatever it is find something to relax you.  You'll be happier, less stressed, and be able to perform better.

     We all know how important it is to give our bodies rest, so why don't we give our minds rest too?  Give it a try, and then when your mind is refreshed take some time to just think about life.  Think about what's really important.  Think about how you can improve.  Think about some of the problems facing society as a whole and how we can fix them rather than just complain about them on our Facebook page.

     Its a simple thing, and simple things are simple to do.

Remember Who You Are

     To those familiar with Disney's "The Lion King" this may seem a cliche title, but the lesson that it teaches is profound.  Simba had run away from his life and the kingdom he was supposed to inherit.  Though rightfully a king he chose the life of an outcast because of fear.  His deceased father told Simba that he needed to remember who he was and go and take his kingdom that had been corrupted by his power-hungry uncle.
     While we are not kings, we each have values and desires that define who we are and who we want to be.   Often we do things that we don't feel good about and we wish that we could do better.  More important than simply doing better is being better.  If we are striving to be the person we want to be then the things that we want to do as that person will naturally come.  If we work to become a king, then we will do kingly things.  On the other hand if we work to become scum, then we will do despicable things.
     Decide what is important to you and what you want to accomplish in life, then decide what kind of person would do those things.  Work every day to become that person.  Ask yourself "Who am I?" and answer yourself with the kind of person you are striving to be.  Whenever you have to decide if you want to do something or not ask yourself "Am I the kind of person who would do that?"  If the answer is no then don't do it.  When you know who you are making choices becomes much simpler because the answers are already inside of you.
     Who you are and who you want to be don't necessarily have to be constant.  As you advance through life, you may decide that different values are important to you and you need to be a different person in order to fulfill those things.  Take care and time in deciding who you are.  Be sure that the answer to your question of who you are is always one that will lead you to happiness and even greater heights than you are now.
     Some of us define who we are by our family.  Others by organizations they belong to.  Others by religion.
     I define myself by values that have become important to me, my religion, and titles I have earned that have special meaning to me.

Who am I?

I am Quinn Thomson

I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.

I live by:

Love,

Honor,

Respect,

Service,

And Truth.

I am an Eagle Scout and a brotherhood member of the Order of the Arrow

I am a son of God, 

And a brother and disciple of Jesus Christ.

     We are each unique individuals with unique capabilities.  Though we are diverse I know that each of us have the potential for greatness if we can remember who we are and what we are capable of.  Never forget who you are.

Be Proud of Who and What You Are Part Four: We need eachother

     Life is not meant to be a solo act, it is a team sport.  We are meant to work together primarily as husband and wife.  Men and women each have unique characteristics that allow each to do great things, but when we can humble ourselves enough to admit that we need the other we can accomplish truly amazing things.  We need someone to complement our strengths.  We each have weaknesses, but with the help of someone else those weaknesses can be covered.  Think of roof shingles.  Individually they have gaps and won't work to protect the house from water, but when the shingles are laid out properly the gaps of one shingle are covered by another shingle.

     "Why does that person that covers your weaknesses and watches your back have to be of the opposite sex?  Why can't I work with someone of my own sex?"  As I stated before men and women have natural strengths that work together in a way I can't fully understand.  If I could put it into words I would, but I can't.  As big as this world is there is someone out there that will fit you that is of the opposite sex.  Working together with that person will bring you more joy and greater success than you could ever hope to on your own or working with someone of your same sex.  Yes when I say working together I mean marriage.  Marriage is indeed something you have to work at, and it really will bring you the greatest joy.

     Look at men and women physically.  Look at all of nature physically.  In order for any species to survive the male and female have to come together.  The male and female fit together and each has something the other cannot give.  Males can't give milk to their young and females can't keep the young fed and warm while at the same time protecting the nest and gathering food for herself and her mate.  If men were meant to work best with men and women with women then nature would have evolved so that they could create life and sustain the species that way.  We are the way we are for a reason.