Be Proud of Who and What You Are Part Four: We need eachother

     Life is not meant to be a solo act, it is a team sport.  We are meant to work together primarily as husband and wife.  Men and women each have unique characteristics that allow each to do great things, but when we can humble ourselves enough to admit that we need the other we can accomplish truly amazing things.  We need someone to complement our strengths.  We each have weaknesses, but with the help of someone else those weaknesses can be covered.  Think of roof shingles.  Individually they have gaps and won't work to protect the house from water, but when the shingles are laid out properly the gaps of one shingle are covered by another shingle.

     "Why does that person that covers your weaknesses and watches your back have to be of the opposite sex?  Why can't I work with someone of my own sex?"  As I stated before men and women have natural strengths that work together in a way I can't fully understand.  If I could put it into words I would, but I can't.  As big as this world is there is someone out there that will fit you that is of the opposite sex.  Working together with that person will bring you more joy and greater success than you could ever hope to on your own or working with someone of your same sex.  Yes when I say working together I mean marriage.  Marriage is indeed something you have to work at, and it really will bring you the greatest joy.

     Look at men and women physically.  Look at all of nature physically.  In order for any species to survive the male and female have to come together.  The male and female fit together and each has something the other cannot give.  Males can't give milk to their young and females can't keep the young fed and warm while at the same time protecting the nest and gathering food for herself and her mate.  If men were meant to work best with men and women with women then nature would have evolved so that they could create life and sustain the species that way.  We are the way we are for a reason.

Be Proud of Who and What You Are Part Three: Masculinity

     Men.  Are we an endangered species?  As I see more and more boys rather than men or men who while mature don't act like "men" I am beginning to think so.  Over-sized boys, and so called men who don't take responsibility are trying to take over the race of men. (When I say men here I mean specifically men and not human kind in general.  I don't endorse male superiority any more than I do female superiority.  Both sexes have many things to offer each other.)

     Now before anyone tries to find me and burn me at the stake, read the rest of this article and give me a chance to explain myself.  First I'll address the issue of boys, men who don't take responsibility and finally I'll go on to say what men ought to be.

     Over-sized boys come in many varieties: gaming addictions, guys who are too in love with their toys, and guys who just don't want to grow up and take responsibility to name a few.  I don't actually have a problem with guys playing games, whether card, board, video, or (gulp) larp (live action role play for those of you unfamiliar with the term.  The most common examples being Dungeons and Dragons or variations of medieval reenactment mixed with fantasy).  I play the first three types myself from time to time.  As long as you don't take it to excess I say game on.  Excess can be either playing too much or games that are pornographic, or excessively vulgar or gory.  If you can set the game aside within say two minutes to do something else (take care of chores, service, go outside, play with your kids, etc.) then you are okay.  (Two minutes should be plenty of time to save your game)  Being too in love with your toys follows the same guidelines of gaming.  I am all for snowmobiling as long as its priority level remains below family, work and other responsibilities.  We all need something to unwind every now and then.  Many of these activities are also great ways to spend time with family and build relationships.  The bottom line is moderation in all things.

     A man ought to be willing to take on responsibility.  He ought to be able to take care of not only himself, but also family when he finds a woman to share his life with and begins a family.  It's okay to ask others for help, but don't ask others to do your job for you.  Also when others ask you to do something or you say that you will, do it.  Without exception.  True it can be scary to start out on your own and have to "grow up" and be mature, but it is well worth the effort.  Don't worry if you are not perfect.  Just give your best effort and you will get better, and in the meantime it will be enough.

     A man has three primary responsibilities in the home: to provide, preside and to protect.  Men are well suited to these duties.  We are able to provide and protect because men are typically better than women at putting aside emotion and doing what needs to be done.  To preside doesn't mean to dictate.  It means to lead.  A leader leads by example and listens to those under his charge.  He takes responsibility for his group's shortcomings and also for their successes.  In presiding, a man's most trusted counselor, and equal partner is his wife.  Saying that men are well suited to these duties doesn't mean that women can't do them as well.  I've said before that men and women need to work together and in some cases do the other's "job".

     We each have natural abilities that we need to use to benefit all around us.  Whatever those gifts are use them.  You won't have all of them but someone else will have the gifts that you lack and it is by working together that we are complete.

Be Proud of Who and What You Are, Part Two: Femininity

     So many women are prone to look down on themselves and think they are not good enough.  That trend has become even more noticeable with the rise in feminism and women trying to compete with men.  There is no reason to compete at all.  Women have great value and are equal in value with men even though men and women have different attributes that separate them.

     I want to talk for a bit about what feminism should really mean.  Feminism should be a search for women to magnify the qualities that make them women.  The very qualities that some look down on as being weak are the qualities that make women so wonderful, and amazing.  As a young man seeking a companion in life, I want to find a woman who is ladylike and happy to let me treat her like a lady.

     Let me first talk about some of the things I try to do for the women around me and the reasons I do them.  I have had a few women wonder why I open the door for them or other chivalrous things.  I have been told on more than one occasion something to the effect of "Why do you open the door for me? I can do it myself."  Of course you can open the door yourself.  I don't do it because I think you are incapable of doing it yourself.  I do it because it is one way in which I can say "Hey I think you are pretty special and I want to do something nice for you."  I look up to the women in my life because they have inherent beauty inside of them that I can't begin to comprehend.  I want to put the women I care about on a pedestal and never let anything bad happen to them.  Of course they can take care of themselves and they don't need to me to take care of them, but because I love them I want to do everything I can to help them, and to show that I care.

     Okay now on to what those qualities are that I praise and adore.  Women are much more emotional than men are.  They have a greater capacity to love than I can understand.  For example, their ability to take a child and love, and comfort him/her even when the reason for their sorrow may seem absurd, is incredible.  There have been countless times in my life that my mom did that for me and in hindsight I wonder why I even needed comfort.  My mom didn't laugh, she just loved me.  Women do that much more naturally than men and that is one of the primary reasons that women should be in the home raising children, not because "its a woman's place" or "women's work".  (Note that I am in no way advocating that men be not involved with their children's lives.  On the contrary I think it essential that they are involved.  Men have things to offer the family as well that I will get into in part three of this series.  I myself intend to make regular time for my children during which I put aside everything else just for them.)

     Women are generally more spiritual than men.  In my church at least, there are typically more women than men that are active, especially among the youth.  Being able to trust and believe in something is a great strength.  I have written in other places my views on the necessity of believing in God.

     The last thing I want to talk about that I admire in women is their ability to bear children.  I am sure some of you are thinking "You're raving mad!  Having kids is no picnic."  I know it is not easy, which is one more reason I respect women for being able and willing to do it, and in many cases, joyful.  With all of our scientific might we are still not able to do something that women have been able to do since the beginning of time.  Oh but we can clone.  Isn't that creating life?  Nope.  We just take an egg cell from a female of whatever it is we are trying to clone and then insert some DNA.  Nothing we can make in a lab can compare with the wonders of our own bodies in any way.

     Here is one more thought about giving birth.  I believe that Satan and his followers don't have a body and never will.  They are jealous of all of us who have bodies.  that is one reason why they hate us so much.  Now take that one step further.  Women not only have a body but they can create bodies so that more people can come to earth.  Of course the best place to grow and develop is in a family with a mother and father.  That is the plan that our Heavenly Father has laid out for us.  Makes sense that Satan would fight us so much to destroy families.

Be Proud of Who And What You Are Part One: Men and Women are different yet equal

     Men and Women are different.  Big news flash right?  Unfortunately for some it just might be.  From the feminist movement to the so called decline of men to making words uni-sexual (for example, there are no actors and actresses, there are only actors) men and women are becoming less and less distinguishable.

     To the feminists, and all other women as well, out there: you don't have to act like a man to be equal to one.  Just because you have different qualities doesn't mean you are are any less than men.  Aren't we taught when we are young that its okay to be different and that we shouldn't be ashamed of who we are?  Shouldn't that carry on into adulthood?  We are all different for a reason.  We all have things that make us unique and special that we can give to the world.  So what if 50% of the population is more prone to certain qualities, and the other 50% is prone to certain other qualities. (read: so what if the population can be divided into two main groupings, namely men and women)

     To the men, particularly those of you who may be in the declining part, man up!  I'm all for getting in touch with your feminine side; sometimes we need to be more "feminine" in order to do certain things, women have to be more "masculine" sometimes too.  But don't go overboard.  You are a man so be proud of it.  A favorite TV show of mine says "The Man's Prayer" at the end of every episode.  It is as follows:

I am a man,

but I can change.

If I have to. . .

I guess.

     The good news is you don't have to change.  Hopefully none of you want to.  You shouldn't.

     Men and women will accomplish more together than either of them could ever hope to apart.  Look at a Yin Yang symbol.  The black and white mix together and both have some of the other inside them.  Separate they are limited, but together they form a whole, a circle in fact.  Circles are a symbol of completion.  Men and women are complete only when they come together.  Neither alone is better than the other, but both together are far more than either alone.