There's a common adage that says that money can't buy happiness. Earning large amounts of money won't bring happiness. Saving large amounts of money, as Ebenezer Scrooge of Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol did, won't bring happiness. However if money is not used to enable happiness then it is really of very little value.
There is of course money's usage to provide the necessities of life, but I don't think there is any real discussion there. At least not one I'm interested in. I'm more interested in how money can be used for good and to bring about happiness. In the last year or so I've adopted a philosophy of "it's only money". I have had opportunities to help others achieve happiness and the only real barrier to me was time and money. By saying "it's only money" I mean that there was really no reason I shouldn't have used money at those times. I am quite capable of getting more money. As Charlie's grandfather says in Tim Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory": "There's plenty of money in the world. They print more of it everyday."
One of those experiences occurred when I was faced with a choice of going home for a family event or staying in Logan where I lived. I tried to justify to myself that I had recently been home and there was really no reason for me to go home again so soon. After some thought I decided that family was more important and that it was worth sacrificing for. I had the time and the money to do it, so I decided I should do it.
Another experience was with a cousin of mine who was struggling a little financially. I owed her gas money and when I found out that she really needed it because she was waiting for her paycheck to come and needed food I gave her the rest of the money in my wallet. It wasn't much, but it helped her. I reasoned that I had it and she needed it. It felt good to be able to help her out.
More recently I came across a game that my brother enjoys playing and so I went and bought it. I enjoyed the game as well and thought that if it was something I could do with my brother and that he could do with the rest of our family, then it was more than worth it.
In all of those cases money didn't buy happiness, but it enabled it. When I made the trip home or when I played that game with my brother I created memories, and built relationships. When I helped out my cousin, I was able to serve her, and as King Mosiah teaches: "When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of you God"
Money can mean many things to many people. To some it is power. To others it is stability. And to still others it is simply a means of providing necessities and sustaining life. To me, money's greatest value comes when it is used in the service of others; in enabling happiness.
Showing posts with label just good thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label just good thoughts. Show all posts
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Rules? I Like Rules
Yes I could be called one of those goody two shoes kind of guys. Yes I have been accused of being a rule nazi (especially when it comes to my favorite games such as Settler of Catan). I've been called old fashioned and just about every other name you can think of for someone who actually likes the rules and tries to follow them. I've had arguments/discussions over rules with mission companions, coworkers, family, and old girlfriends. And at the end of the day I choose to follow rules, to understand them, and to be grateful for them.
Recently at my job I had an experience that made me especially grateful for a rule that was in place and the safety it represented. I work on an assembly line and am required to wear safety glasses. They are uncomfortable and sometimes get dirty making it hard to see. Also no one looks good in safety glasses. While placing a bolt and a nut using a wrench and a pneumatic drill I lost my grip on the wrench and the drill threw the wrench at my face. It hurt, but not nearly as much as it could have had I not been wearing safety glasses. At best I would have gotten a black eye and at worst I would have lost my eye entirely. Either way I am grateful for the rule requiring me to wear safety glasses.
A past girlfriend of mine really liked to break "minor" rules. She hated when I would set rules for us, and we inevitably argued about them. She would often ask if I trusted her to keep us out of trouble or if I trusted myself to do the same. I would often reply that I didn't trust myself.
I really do trust myself; I trust myself to make a smart choice before hand and not put myself in a position to get in trouble. I trust myself to make guidelines for my behavior so my weaknesses are covered. In this case not making out, because I knew it would become very difficult to not move on other things that I would sincerely regret.
A soldier trusts his gun and his aim, but that doesn't mean he's going to walk behind enemy lines. He's going to stay far away from danger and confront the enemy on his terms (really it's the terms of his commander who knows more than he does, but that's a topic for another day).
In the case of my girlfriend I usually gave in to her and nothing good ever came of it. I made some mistakes that I wish I could take back. I often felt enormous amounts of guilt and self loathing because I knew I was better than that. Eventually, with help (thanks Mom), I broke up with her. It took a long time to overcome the depression that ensued because I wasn't true to myself and I didn't do what I knew was right.
I like rules because they keep me safe. They keep me from danger. They keep me happy. Some rules it's true, have no real purpose. Rules made by evil people designed to enslave others should be fought against. In general, however, rules have good reasons for existing. They summarize knowledge and experience that has been passed on from one person to another.
Safety rules at work protected me from serious harm. Rules I had made or borrowed from my religious leaders would have kept me much happier. Dieting rules keep a person healthy.
If you don't like a rule, perhaps it is because you don't understand it. If you don't like it or don't agree with it, question it. Ask why it exists. What purpose does it serve? How can following this rule benefit me? A smart person learns from his own mistakes, and a genius learns from the mistakes of others. A genius would recognize that rules often arise from the mistakes of others, and by adhering to the rule, avoid similar mistakes.
Sometimes rules simply provide order. There is a rule (sadly on its way out) that says: "ladies first." Have you ever tried walking through a door at the same time as another person? Or awkwardly had a nonverbal argument about who goes first for something? Allowing ladies first simplifies things. The follow up that may have once followed this simple rule is: "elders first." (generally summed up in "respect your elders and betters) Sometimes you won't know who is older and you still have problems, but if it helps at least the majority of the time I think it is worth following. I heard it said once that rules are the grease of society. They reduce friction and conflict.
Next time you find yourself fighting against some rule, take a step back and try to understand it, rather than complain that it is a construct of some high-up paper pusher, male chauvinist pig, God, or whoever to constrain you and cramp your style. Who knows, you may just like what you find.
Recently at my job I had an experience that made me especially grateful for a rule that was in place and the safety it represented. I work on an assembly line and am required to wear safety glasses. They are uncomfortable and sometimes get dirty making it hard to see. Also no one looks good in safety glasses. While placing a bolt and a nut using a wrench and a pneumatic drill I lost my grip on the wrench and the drill threw the wrench at my face. It hurt, but not nearly as much as it could have had I not been wearing safety glasses. At best I would have gotten a black eye and at worst I would have lost my eye entirely. Either way I am grateful for the rule requiring me to wear safety glasses.
A past girlfriend of mine really liked to break "minor" rules. She hated when I would set rules for us, and we inevitably argued about them. She would often ask if I trusted her to keep us out of trouble or if I trusted myself to do the same. I would often reply that I didn't trust myself.
I really do trust myself; I trust myself to make a smart choice before hand and not put myself in a position to get in trouble. I trust myself to make guidelines for my behavior so my weaknesses are covered. In this case not making out, because I knew it would become very difficult to not move on other things that I would sincerely regret.
A soldier trusts his gun and his aim, but that doesn't mean he's going to walk behind enemy lines. He's going to stay far away from danger and confront the enemy on his terms (really it's the terms of his commander who knows more than he does, but that's a topic for another day).
In the case of my girlfriend I usually gave in to her and nothing good ever came of it. I made some mistakes that I wish I could take back. I often felt enormous amounts of guilt and self loathing because I knew I was better than that. Eventually, with help (thanks Mom), I broke up with her. It took a long time to overcome the depression that ensued because I wasn't true to myself and I didn't do what I knew was right.
I like rules because they keep me safe. They keep me from danger. They keep me happy. Some rules it's true, have no real purpose. Rules made by evil people designed to enslave others should be fought against. In general, however, rules have good reasons for existing. They summarize knowledge and experience that has been passed on from one person to another.
Safety rules at work protected me from serious harm. Rules I had made or borrowed from my religious leaders would have kept me much happier. Dieting rules keep a person healthy.
If you don't like a rule, perhaps it is because you don't understand it. If you don't like it or don't agree with it, question it. Ask why it exists. What purpose does it serve? How can following this rule benefit me? A smart person learns from his own mistakes, and a genius learns from the mistakes of others. A genius would recognize that rules often arise from the mistakes of others, and by adhering to the rule, avoid similar mistakes.
Sometimes rules simply provide order. There is a rule (sadly on its way out) that says: "ladies first." Have you ever tried walking through a door at the same time as another person? Or awkwardly had a nonverbal argument about who goes first for something? Allowing ladies first simplifies things. The follow up that may have once followed this simple rule is: "elders first." (generally summed up in "respect your elders and betters) Sometimes you won't know who is older and you still have problems, but if it helps at least the majority of the time I think it is worth following. I heard it said once that rules are the grease of society. They reduce friction and conflict.
Next time you find yourself fighting against some rule, take a step back and try to understand it, rather than complain that it is a construct of some high-up paper pusher, male chauvinist pig, God, or whoever to constrain you and cramp your style. Who knows, you may just like what you find.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Leadership is a Big Game of Chess
I wish I could recall the circumstances that led to this particular thought. I was talking to someone, probably my mother, about leadership and I thought that being a leader is like playing big game of chess.
Chess is a game that I enjoy playing and wish I was good at, but have never gotten very serious about, despite the fact that many of my friends think I must be good at chess. It's a very strategic game made of many pieces each with very unique attributes. A good chess player knows his pieces, their strengths and weaknesses, the playing field, and his end goal.
Every piece in chess is different and has special ways of acting that no make it valuable. A good chess player knows that each, if used properly can be used to great advantage, even those that seem to be less important.
The people we lead come in all varieties, from those who take center stage to those that are content to do their job in the background and not be noticed, to those who are afraid to share what they have to give. A leader needs to get to know each of his "pieces", their strengths and weakness. Don't overlook anyone. From pawn to king, each has something to contribute if you know how to use them.
A chess player knows the game board. I don't mean just knowing that there are 64 squares of alternating colors. I mean knowing what positions are most important to hold, which are best for offense and which for defense. The best chess players know the board so well that they can play without even looking at the board. By using chess notation a strong player knows where all of his and his opponents pieces are in relation to eachother. He knows who is in danger and who is in a position to attack.
Whatever our playing field is we must know it thoroughly. Perhaps we lead a nation and need to know what areas are safe and secure and which are under imminent threat. Perhaps we lead a small group of people on a campout and need to know where we can set up tents and what and where poison ivy grows.
Perhaps the most important thing to know in a game of chess or in a leadership position is the goal. In chess it is simple: capture the opponent's king, and protect your own. For leaders it can be anything from helping to chop firewood for winter to leading your troops through enemy terrain. Whatever it is it must be understood by leaders, or else little or nothing can be accomplished.
When a leader understands each of these basic principles and brings them together he can accomplish great things. He can maximise the effectiveness of those he leads and make them more together than any of them could be alone.
Chess is a game that I enjoy playing and wish I was good at, but have never gotten very serious about, despite the fact that many of my friends think I must be good at chess. It's a very strategic game made of many pieces each with very unique attributes. A good chess player knows his pieces, their strengths and weaknesses, the playing field, and his end goal.
Every piece in chess is different and has special ways of acting that no make it valuable. A good chess player knows that each, if used properly can be used to great advantage, even those that seem to be less important.
The people we lead come in all varieties, from those who take center stage to those that are content to do their job in the background and not be noticed, to those who are afraid to share what they have to give. A leader needs to get to know each of his "pieces", their strengths and weakness. Don't overlook anyone. From pawn to king, each has something to contribute if you know how to use them.
A chess player knows the game board. I don't mean just knowing that there are 64 squares of alternating colors. I mean knowing what positions are most important to hold, which are best for offense and which for defense. The best chess players know the board so well that they can play without even looking at the board. By using chess notation a strong player knows where all of his and his opponents pieces are in relation to eachother. He knows who is in danger and who is in a position to attack.
Whatever our playing field is we must know it thoroughly. Perhaps we lead a nation and need to know what areas are safe and secure and which are under imminent threat. Perhaps we lead a small group of people on a campout and need to know where we can set up tents and what and where poison ivy grows.
Perhaps the most important thing to know in a game of chess or in a leadership position is the goal. In chess it is simple: capture the opponent's king, and protect your own. For leaders it can be anything from helping to chop firewood for winter to leading your troops through enemy terrain. Whatever it is it must be understood by leaders, or else little or nothing can be accomplished.
When a leader understands each of these basic principles and brings them together he can accomplish great things. He can maximise the effectiveness of those he leads and make them more together than any of them could be alone.
Monday, February 3, 2014
Start with what you know
I am currently a college student studying electrical engineering. Recently I came across a problem that I had no idea how to solve. I looked through the book hoping to find some sort of inspiration, but to no avail. There was only one thing to do. I wrote down what I knew from the problem statement and set out to squeeze as much as information as I could out of the few details provided to me. After a few lines a solution opened up to me and I was able to complete the problem.
Another example of this happened when I was trying to fix my car. Initially it was thought that the starter had died and needed to be replaced. I wasn't sure where the starter was locacted to even begin working with it. I thought that maybe I should start with the battery and then follow the cables until it led me to the starter, but I wasn't sure if that path would be productive. I called my dad for advice and he confirmed my suspicion that following the battery cables would lead me to the starter.
I followed the battery cables, but still wasn't sure if what I had found was the starter so I called someone else who could come look at my car and give me more direct help. The first thing my friend did was to check the battery. I had already tried jumping the car with no luck and was convinced that it must be the starter. We removed the battery and went to get it tested. The voltage low enough that the battery wouldn't charge from being jumped by another car, and so we had the battery trickle charged. After an hour I recieved a call saying that the battery was beyond hope, but that because I was still under the warranty I could get a new battery free of charge.
I learned an important lesson from these experiences; one that will serve me well in my engineering career and in life in general. Start with what you know. It seems like a simple thing, but there is often great power in simple things.
In solving most any problem you can organize what is given to you and then you can expand what is given using what you already know until you are able to solve the problem. In solving my engineering problems it is often necessary to rearrange information and look at it in a different way. I have to keep my mind open and be willing to do work that may not directly help me to solve the problem, but leads me to other options that do allow me to discover a solution.
I am not always able to solve the problem at hand immediately, but rather am shown what questions I must ask so that I can solve the problem.
I have found that this is also an excellent way to learn new things. Find something that interests you and, using what you know, make your best guess about what it is and how it works and then proceed to fill in the gaps.
To continue on with the example of an engine. My younger brother recieved a dirt bike for Christmas. It needs some repairs to make it run and so my brother and I get to work on it together. I have a little knowledge of how an engine works and by applying what little I know I can see what else there is to know. If I were to simple look at it and guess how to fix it I would be at a complete loss, but by knowing that gas and oxygen need to mix together and be ignited by a spark I can check if that process is happening correctly. If it is I can move on to the next thing I know, if not I can learn more about that process and fix it.
Some problems may take more work and ingenuity than others, but with any problem, you have to start somewhere, so you might as well start with what you know.
Another example of this happened when I was trying to fix my car. Initially it was thought that the starter had died and needed to be replaced. I wasn't sure where the starter was locacted to even begin working with it. I thought that maybe I should start with the battery and then follow the cables until it led me to the starter, but I wasn't sure if that path would be productive. I called my dad for advice and he confirmed my suspicion that following the battery cables would lead me to the starter.
I followed the battery cables, but still wasn't sure if what I had found was the starter so I called someone else who could come look at my car and give me more direct help. The first thing my friend did was to check the battery. I had already tried jumping the car with no luck and was convinced that it must be the starter. We removed the battery and went to get it tested. The voltage low enough that the battery wouldn't charge from being jumped by another car, and so we had the battery trickle charged. After an hour I recieved a call saying that the battery was beyond hope, but that because I was still under the warranty I could get a new battery free of charge.
I learned an important lesson from these experiences; one that will serve me well in my engineering career and in life in general. Start with what you know. It seems like a simple thing, but there is often great power in simple things.
In solving most any problem you can organize what is given to you and then you can expand what is given using what you already know until you are able to solve the problem. In solving my engineering problems it is often necessary to rearrange information and look at it in a different way. I have to keep my mind open and be willing to do work that may not directly help me to solve the problem, but leads me to other options that do allow me to discover a solution.
I am not always able to solve the problem at hand immediately, but rather am shown what questions I must ask so that I can solve the problem.
I have found that this is also an excellent way to learn new things. Find something that interests you and, using what you know, make your best guess about what it is and how it works and then proceed to fill in the gaps.
To continue on with the example of an engine. My younger brother recieved a dirt bike for Christmas. It needs some repairs to make it run and so my brother and I get to work on it together. I have a little knowledge of how an engine works and by applying what little I know I can see what else there is to know. If I were to simple look at it and guess how to fix it I would be at a complete loss, but by knowing that gas and oxygen need to mix together and be ignited by a spark I can check if that process is happening correctly. If it is I can move on to the next thing I know, if not I can learn more about that process and fix it.
Some problems may take more work and ingenuity than others, but with any problem, you have to start somewhere, so you might as well start with what you know.
Friday, November 8, 2013
Wonder
Wonder. Awe. Marvel. These are just a few words I could use to describe one of my favorite feelings. And yet I am not sure that any of them really capture the spirit of what I feel. I hope that through the words I share here that you can capture something of the vision I have.
If I were to choose a beginning to this particular story I suppose the best place to start would be in the summer of 2011. The feeling of course goes back much further than that and I may have even contemplated it before, but that summer had a few experiences that make it as good a time as any to start. I worked at Island Park Scout Camp that summer. I was the director of the Trail to Eagle,which was designed to help scouts complete their first few ranks through 1st class. As part of my assignment I had to teach the scouts a large variety of skills. The one pertinent to this story was that of plant identification. It was during that time that I started to really appreciate the wide variety and beauty of nature. Lord Baden Powell summed it up wonderfully in a farewell letter to the scouts of the world that was published after his death. "Nature study will show you how full of beautiful and wonderful things God has made the world for you to enjoy. Be contented with what you have got and make the best of it. Look on the bright side of things instead of the gloomy one." I had the opportunity to read that as part of our honor trail at the camp. I made a goal to study nature more and learn to identify more plants. I have not learned any more plants since that time, but I try to be more conscious of the world as I go throughout my day. At any rate it started a way of approaching life that I do my best to live to this day.
I wish I could say that there was an immediate change in my life after that summer, but the next several months turned out to be a very dark time for me and the seed lay dormant. When I began to come out of the darkness and back into the light, I decided I wanted to make changes in my life; I didn't want to be the same person I had been. I wanted to live a fuller life and see just how far I could go. In truth I had had similar thoughts in many periods of my life, but after having been very nearly destroyed I had a unique opportunity to rebuild myself. I simply felt that I was capable of doing amazing things with my life and I didn't want to lose any opportunities because I wasn't living my life in a way to take advantage of them.
In the spring of 2013 I took an institute class in which my teacher taught us that we should live our lives' in crescendo. In life we are either improving or we are declining; there is no stagnation. We should live each day a little better than the one before. The lessons he taught about living in crescendo that semester resonated with me in a way few things had. I wanted to become all that God intended me to be. I wanted to live my life in such a way that nothing could hinder my progression, and that would enable me to recieve every blessing my Heavenly Father had in store for me.
I began to see the world through new eyes, partly because I was laying aside anything that would hinder my spirit and partly because I was making a determined effort to see and experience all the amazing things this world has to offer. The best word I can find to describe what I felt is "wonder". It's the feeling I get when I learn something new and I become totally immersed in what I'm studying, and I just can't stop; When I take time to really admire the beauty of creation; the range of emotions that good music can inspire; the feeling when some beautiful divine truth is made manifest in a new way.
I can't very well describe that feeling, but it makes me feel as if nothing is impossible; as if I'm not even in this world and my spirit yearns to leave mortal bounds and go onward to infinite. It's a feeling of pure joy and exhilaration; one of not being weighed down by anything. I crave that feeling. I don't always do things that let me feel it, and sometimes I let it get lost in the hustle and bustle of living.
I wish I could find some way to let you inside my head and show you what I want to say. As hard as I try I can find no words that don't feel like an injustice. Although I cannot express my thoughts adequately, I may be successful if you feel something inside you that you also cannot express, but that you recognize. It's something that we all feel at times in our lives, but that we often miss because we aren't looking for it. Please, live in crescendo, look for the wonder in life, grab life by the horns or however you want to say it. Don't let anything stop you. Set your spirit free and let it fly.
If I were to choose a beginning to this particular story I suppose the best place to start would be in the summer of 2011. The feeling of course goes back much further than that and I may have even contemplated it before, but that summer had a few experiences that make it as good a time as any to start. I worked at Island Park Scout Camp that summer. I was the director of the Trail to Eagle,which was designed to help scouts complete their first few ranks through 1st class. As part of my assignment I had to teach the scouts a large variety of skills. The one pertinent to this story was that of plant identification. It was during that time that I started to really appreciate the wide variety and beauty of nature. Lord Baden Powell summed it up wonderfully in a farewell letter to the scouts of the world that was published after his death. "Nature study will show you how full of beautiful and wonderful things God has made the world for you to enjoy. Be contented with what you have got and make the best of it. Look on the bright side of things instead of the gloomy one." I had the opportunity to read that as part of our honor trail at the camp. I made a goal to study nature more and learn to identify more plants. I have not learned any more plants since that time, but I try to be more conscious of the world as I go throughout my day. At any rate it started a way of approaching life that I do my best to live to this day.
I wish I could say that there was an immediate change in my life after that summer, but the next several months turned out to be a very dark time for me and the seed lay dormant. When I began to come out of the darkness and back into the light, I decided I wanted to make changes in my life; I didn't want to be the same person I had been. I wanted to live a fuller life and see just how far I could go. In truth I had had similar thoughts in many periods of my life, but after having been very nearly destroyed I had a unique opportunity to rebuild myself. I simply felt that I was capable of doing amazing things with my life and I didn't want to lose any opportunities because I wasn't living my life in a way to take advantage of them.
In the spring of 2013 I took an institute class in which my teacher taught us that we should live our lives' in crescendo. In life we are either improving or we are declining; there is no stagnation. We should live each day a little better than the one before. The lessons he taught about living in crescendo that semester resonated with me in a way few things had. I wanted to become all that God intended me to be. I wanted to live my life in such a way that nothing could hinder my progression, and that would enable me to recieve every blessing my Heavenly Father had in store for me.
I began to see the world through new eyes, partly because I was laying aside anything that would hinder my spirit and partly because I was making a determined effort to see and experience all the amazing things this world has to offer. The best word I can find to describe what I felt is "wonder". It's the feeling I get when I learn something new and I become totally immersed in what I'm studying, and I just can't stop; When I take time to really admire the beauty of creation; the range of emotions that good music can inspire; the feeling when some beautiful divine truth is made manifest in a new way.
I can't very well describe that feeling, but it makes me feel as if nothing is impossible; as if I'm not even in this world and my spirit yearns to leave mortal bounds and go onward to infinite. It's a feeling of pure joy and exhilaration; one of not being weighed down by anything. I crave that feeling. I don't always do things that let me feel it, and sometimes I let it get lost in the hustle and bustle of living.
I wish I could find some way to let you inside my head and show you what I want to say. As hard as I try I can find no words that don't feel like an injustice. Although I cannot express my thoughts adequately, I may be successful if you feel something inside you that you also cannot express, but that you recognize. It's something that we all feel at times in our lives, but that we often miss because we aren't looking for it. Please, live in crescendo, look for the wonder in life, grab life by the horns or however you want to say it. Don't let anything stop you. Set your spirit free and let it fly.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Stop Waiting For Life to Begin
I once read an article directed towards women that advised them not to wait around for prince charming. Although they were still encouraged to marry, they should do more than wait for some dashing young man to sweep them off their feet and solve all their problems.
I firmly agree with that and its further application to all people. None of us should sit around waiting and wondering "when will my life begin?"
Although I have been going to school and preparing to become an electrical engineer, I realized that I was waiting to meet my princess and begin a family. Its good of course to want to marry, but it had nearly become the sole purpose of my existence. I had been saying to myself without realizing it, that once I was able to marry and start a family, then my life would really begin, I just had to be patient.
After a rather painful breakup I began to realize what I was doing. I decided that I needed to stop waiting for my life to begin and make it begin! I needed to take advantage of every opportunity to grow and devolop myself, whether single or married.
How many of us have let opportunity pass us by because we were waiting for something else? I personally would rather not think about how many opportunitites I lost, because I was waiting for something else instead of seizing the gift right in front of me. Now is the time to change all of that. Today is the day to make myself into the man I want to be. While I believe I will grow in many and unexpected ways when I do marry, there is no reason why I cannot be my own person now. In fact it is probably essential to finding the greatest happiness I can in marriage that I work to make myself as complete and refined a man as I can.
Don't let another opportunity slip past because you are waiting for something. Take charge of your life and when opportunity knocks, invite it in for a drink. When another one comes by, invite it in as well and make it a party. If it seems that your house is empty of such guests, then make an opportunity for yourself. At all times strive to develop, learn, and grow.
I firmly agree with that and its further application to all people. None of us should sit around waiting and wondering "when will my life begin?"
Although I have been going to school and preparing to become an electrical engineer, I realized that I was waiting to meet my princess and begin a family. Its good of course to want to marry, but it had nearly become the sole purpose of my existence. I had been saying to myself without realizing it, that once I was able to marry and start a family, then my life would really begin, I just had to be patient.
After a rather painful breakup I began to realize what I was doing. I decided that I needed to stop waiting for my life to begin and make it begin! I needed to take advantage of every opportunity to grow and devolop myself, whether single or married.
How many of us have let opportunity pass us by because we were waiting for something else? I personally would rather not think about how many opportunitites I lost, because I was waiting for something else instead of seizing the gift right in front of me. Now is the time to change all of that. Today is the day to make myself into the man I want to be. While I believe I will grow in many and unexpected ways when I do marry, there is no reason why I cannot be my own person now. In fact it is probably essential to finding the greatest happiness I can in marriage that I work to make myself as complete and refined a man as I can.
Don't let another opportunity slip past because you are waiting for something. Take charge of your life and when opportunity knocks, invite it in for a drink. When another one comes by, invite it in as well and make it a party. If it seems that your house is empty of such guests, then make an opportunity for yourself. At all times strive to develop, learn, and grow.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Perfect Effort
As I was walking to church today and thinking about life and how I wanted to change and not be so critical of myself I had this thought: "98% of the time I can't get perfect results, but I can give perfect effort."
For most of my life I have held very high expectations of myself. I often compared myself to others and was also critical of others. It wasn't really that I meant to be offensive or thought that the person was doing a bad job I would just think how they could do it better. I have a very analytic mind and it is natural for me to see something or someone and take it apart in my mind, either to see how it works or how to make it better. (I often take real things apart to see how they work as well. I'm a stereotypical engineer)
Being so critical of myself and expecting perfection of myself has led to lots of pain for me. I was a perfectionist and it was hurting me. I should say is hurting me because it is still something I am working on. This last week has been really hard for me and I have been struggling to be happy instead of focusing on the negative aspects of my life. I decided that I should try to worry more about the effort I am putting into something and make sure I am simply doing my best at it, regardless of how it turns out.
Its good to reach for the stars and to try to be the best I can, but not when it damages me. My branch president encouraged me to simply let go. He said I should go float on a river and just let the river take me wherever it wanted to go, but to do that with my mind. He said it is good that my mind works the way it does, but I don't have to be that way all the time. Sometimes I need to just go with the flow.
In the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible it says "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." There are times that I need to use my mind's full capacity and work as hard as I can, and there are other times that I need to slow down and not worry.
I need to recognize that some things really don't matter in the long run and just go with whatever sounds good at the time, enjoy the moment, and then move on. There are also some things that I can't do anything about so I need to just let them go and not worry.
Some day I, and every other person, will be perfect in all things, but in the mean time I just need to try my best no matter the outcome, and be happy with life.
For most of my life I have held very high expectations of myself. I often compared myself to others and was also critical of others. It wasn't really that I meant to be offensive or thought that the person was doing a bad job I would just think how they could do it better. I have a very analytic mind and it is natural for me to see something or someone and take it apart in my mind, either to see how it works or how to make it better. (I often take real things apart to see how they work as well. I'm a stereotypical engineer)
Being so critical of myself and expecting perfection of myself has led to lots of pain for me. I was a perfectionist and it was hurting me. I should say is hurting me because it is still something I am working on. This last week has been really hard for me and I have been struggling to be happy instead of focusing on the negative aspects of my life. I decided that I should try to worry more about the effort I am putting into something and make sure I am simply doing my best at it, regardless of how it turns out.
Its good to reach for the stars and to try to be the best I can, but not when it damages me. My branch president encouraged me to simply let go. He said I should go float on a river and just let the river take me wherever it wanted to go, but to do that with my mind. He said it is good that my mind works the way it does, but I don't have to be that way all the time. Sometimes I need to just go with the flow.
In the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible it says "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." There are times that I need to use my mind's full capacity and work as hard as I can, and there are other times that I need to slow down and not worry.
I need to recognize that some things really don't matter in the long run and just go with whatever sounds good at the time, enjoy the moment, and then move on. There are also some things that I can't do anything about so I need to just let them go and not worry.
Some day I, and every other person, will be perfect in all things, but in the mean time I just need to try my best no matter the outcome, and be happy with life.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Life's a balancing act
How many of us have ever struggled to find balance in life? Whether it be balancing time at work vs time with family, balancing study, social life and sleep, or whatever. Life is full of tasks and activities vying for our attention and trying to get everything done can be a challenge.
For most of us the balancing act doesn't end with time management either. I try to balance my personal development, and not focus too much in one area and not at all in another. I try to balance my life goals. Balance having fun and letting loose vs trying to be able to take life seriously and think deeply about things and just be me.
Often times I think of balance as being static; as if once I find this perfect, happy medium that everything will be great and I'll never have to worry again. At least I used to think like that. I realize now that balance is very dynamic. When a person is "standing still" they are really making hundreds of micro-adjustments to their stature so that they stay balanced. Fortunately our brains are very good at this so we don't have to consciously think about adjusting ourselves, its automatic.
Life is the same. We don't find one perfect way of dealing with everything and then never change again. We constantly change ourselves and adjust to meet all of life's demands. Take life one step at a time on a case by case basis. Do what must be done, when it must be done.
"To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose on the heaven;" (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
For most of us the balancing act doesn't end with time management either. I try to balance my personal development, and not focus too much in one area and not at all in another. I try to balance my life goals. Balance having fun and letting loose vs trying to be able to take life seriously and think deeply about things and just be me.
Often times I think of balance as being static; as if once I find this perfect, happy medium that everything will be great and I'll never have to worry again. At least I used to think like that. I realize now that balance is very dynamic. When a person is "standing still" they are really making hundreds of micro-adjustments to their stature so that they stay balanced. Fortunately our brains are very good at this so we don't have to consciously think about adjusting ourselves, its automatic.
Life is the same. We don't find one perfect way of dealing with everything and then never change again. We constantly change ourselves and adjust to meet all of life's demands. Take life one step at a time on a case by case basis. Do what must be done, when it must be done.
"To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose on the heaven;" (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
Monday, January 21, 2013
Slow Down
So many people move much too fast in this world. I don't mean running or speeding, but dashing about from one task or project to another, always in constant motion. How many of us wouldn't know what to do with our time if we didn't have our internet ready cellphone always at hand to entertain us? Even if you use it to make you more efficient in your job, or to educate yourself (both of which are admirable activities) you may still be rushing too much and missing things. To our detriment multitasking has become commonplace.
Take time to smell the roses. Seriously. This world is full of wonderful and beautiful things that many if not most of us pass by. I'm not saying you need to be a nature lover or anything, but take time to appreciate life. Doing so will relieve stress and give your mind time to clear so that you can be more efficient and more healthy. "Mind wandering", or thinking about other things rather than being "in the moment", has been shown to cause unhappiness.
Go on a walk, either alone or with a friend. Have a picnic in a park with your loved one(s). Go cloud-watching. Take time to go talk to an old friend rather than send a hasty message. Put your phone on silent and have a nice dinner with your family. Whatever it is find something to relax you. You'll be happier, less stressed, and be able to perform better.
We all know how important it is to give our bodies rest, so why don't we give our minds rest too? Give it a try, and then when your mind is refreshed take some time to just think about life. Think about what's really important. Think about how you can improve. Think about some of the problems facing society as a whole and how we can fix them rather than just complain about them on our Facebook page.
Its a simple thing, and simple things are simple to do.
Take time to smell the roses. Seriously. This world is full of wonderful and beautiful things that many if not most of us pass by. I'm not saying you need to be a nature lover or anything, but take time to appreciate life. Doing so will relieve stress and give your mind time to clear so that you can be more efficient and more healthy. "Mind wandering", or thinking about other things rather than being "in the moment", has been shown to cause unhappiness.
Go on a walk, either alone or with a friend. Have a picnic in a park with your loved one(s). Go cloud-watching. Take time to go talk to an old friend rather than send a hasty message. Put your phone on silent and have a nice dinner with your family. Whatever it is find something to relax you. You'll be happier, less stressed, and be able to perform better.
We all know how important it is to give our bodies rest, so why don't we give our minds rest too? Give it a try, and then when your mind is refreshed take some time to just think about life. Think about what's really important. Think about how you can improve. Think about some of the problems facing society as a whole and how we can fix them rather than just complain about them on our Facebook page.
Its a simple thing, and simple things are simple to do.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Remember Who You Are
To those familiar with Disney's "The Lion King" this may seem a cliche title, but the lesson that it teaches is profound. Simba had run away from his life and the kingdom he was supposed to inherit. Though rightfully a king he chose the life of an outcast because of fear. His deceased father told Simba that he needed to remember who he was and go and take his kingdom that had been corrupted by his power-hungry uncle.
While we are not kings, we each have values and desires that define who we are and who we want to be. Often we do things that we don't feel good about and we wish that we could do better. More important than simply doing better is being better. If we are striving to be the person we want to be then the things that we want to do as that person will naturally come. If we work to become a king, then we will do kingly things. On the other hand if we work to become scum, then we will do despicable things.
Decide what is important to you and what you want to accomplish in life, then decide what kind of person would do those things. Work every day to become that person. Ask yourself "Who am I?" and answer yourself with the kind of person you are striving to be. Whenever you have to decide if you want to do something or not ask yourself "Am I the kind of person who would do that?" If the answer is no then don't do it. When you know who you are making choices becomes much simpler because the answers are already inside of you.
Who you are and who you want to be don't necessarily have to be constant. As you advance through life, you may decide that different values are important to you and you need to be a different person in order to fulfill those things. Take care and time in deciding who you are. Be sure that the answer to your question of who you are is always one that will lead you to happiness and even greater heights than you are now.
Some of us define who we are by our family. Others by organizations they belong to. Others by religion.
I define myself by values that have become important to me, my religion, and titles I have earned that have special meaning to me.
While we are not kings, we each have values and desires that define who we are and who we want to be. Often we do things that we don't feel good about and we wish that we could do better. More important than simply doing better is being better. If we are striving to be the person we want to be then the things that we want to do as that person will naturally come. If we work to become a king, then we will do kingly things. On the other hand if we work to become scum, then we will do despicable things.
Decide what is important to you and what you want to accomplish in life, then decide what kind of person would do those things. Work every day to become that person. Ask yourself "Who am I?" and answer yourself with the kind of person you are striving to be. Whenever you have to decide if you want to do something or not ask yourself "Am I the kind of person who would do that?" If the answer is no then don't do it. When you know who you are making choices becomes much simpler because the answers are already inside of you.
Who you are and who you want to be don't necessarily have to be constant. As you advance through life, you may decide that different values are important to you and you need to be a different person in order to fulfill those things. Take care and time in deciding who you are. Be sure that the answer to your question of who you are is always one that will lead you to happiness and even greater heights than you are now.
Some of us define who we are by our family. Others by organizations they belong to. Others by religion.
I define myself by values that have become important to me, my religion, and titles I have earned that have special meaning to me.
Who am I?
I am Quinn Thomson
I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.
I live by:
Love,
Honor,
Respect,
Service,
And Truth.
I am an Eagle Scout and a brotherhood member of the Order of the Arrow
I am a son of God,
And a brother and disciple of Jesus Christ.
We are each unique individuals with unique capabilities. Though we are diverse I know that each of us have the potential for greatness if we can remember who we are and what we are capable of. Never forget who you are.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
What does intelligence mean?
I was reflecting recently on what it means to be smart or a genius. When I was in high school my calculus teacher said to me "You're brilliant, but you waste your potential." I came to the conclusion that brilliance really doesn't mean anything if you don't use it to do something.
There are four groupings of a person's ability: stupid, smart, brilliant, and genius, and the differences between them are as follows:
Stupid: has little ability and doesn't work. Result: nothing
Smart: has little ability, but works hard. Result: great things
Brilliant: has lots of ability, but doesn't work Result: nothing
Genius: has lots of ability and works hard Result: great things.
As you can see, in the final analysis it doesn't matter how "intelligent" a person is; the only thing that matters is what you do with what you have. Even if you have all the ability in the world, if you don't work then you will accomplish nothing and you may as well have been born an idiot, for that is how history will remember you. If, on the other hand, you have average ability/intelligence, work hard and accomplish great things, then history will look at you and say "Wow that person did great things. He/she must have been a genius."
There are four groupings of a person's ability: stupid, smart, brilliant, and genius, and the differences between them are as follows:
Stupid: has little ability and doesn't work. Result: nothing
Smart: has little ability, but works hard. Result: great things
Brilliant: has lots of ability, but doesn't work Result: nothing
Genius: has lots of ability and works hard Result: great things.
As you can see, in the final analysis it doesn't matter how "intelligent" a person is; the only thing that matters is what you do with what you have. Even if you have all the ability in the world, if you don't work then you will accomplish nothing and you may as well have been born an idiot, for that is how history will remember you. If, on the other hand, you have average ability/intelligence, work hard and accomplish great things, then history will look at you and say "Wow that person did great things. He/she must have been a genius."
The choice is yours.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Patriotism
It’s been eleven years since the terrorist attacks on the twin towers in New York and it seems like that event is fading into the past. I’m ok with the attack itself being forgotten; the part that bothers me is that the feeling of unity and patriotism that we felt after that day is being forgotten. I think it important to have unity as a people and to remember what our flag stands for.
In The Book Of Mormon there was a military general named Moroni, often called Captain Moroni. In an effort to rally his soldiers and to remind them of what they were fighting for he ripped off his coat and wrote on it: "In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children" He then raised it on a pole and went throughout his country waving it on high and calling people to fight for all that they held dear.
Our flag is the same way. It reminds us of all the things we care about; things that are worth fighting for and even more worth remembering. It’s a reminder of all the battles that have been fought and all the assistance that Heaven granted us so that this country could exist. God guided the creation of this country so that his righteous purposes could roll forth. The more people forget all of that, the less righteous this country becomes, and the fewer blessings we will receive until perhaps one day we are destroyed entirely. Let us stand together not only as citizens of the United States of America, but as people throughout all humanity, dedicated to a better world.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Where is Happiness
This is a story I heard in church a week ago. I'm sure there are many variations of the story but the message is the same.
"When man was created there were some elves who wanted to cause some mischief for mankind and decided to hide something very special from him-his happiness. They talked for some time about where to hide it so as to be very difficult for man to find.
A suggestion was made to hide it on the highest mountain peak, but as man was adventurous eventually one would climb and find happiness and share it with all.
A second elf suggested to hide it in the deepest part of the ocean, but another elf said that mankind was too clever and would eventually build a contraption to dive to the deepest depths and find it.
A third elf proposed to hide it on the moon, but it was decided that man was brave and always exploring new territory and would eventually find his way to the moon.
Finally a wise old elf came up with the perfect solution. They would hide happiness inside man himself. In all his searching in the universe man would surely never think to look inside himself to find happiness."
All too often we forget that happiness is to be found in us not in stuff. It's best found with other people, especially when we are working to make them happy instead of worrying about ourselves.
"When man was created there were some elves who wanted to cause some mischief for mankind and decided to hide something very special from him-his happiness. They talked for some time about where to hide it so as to be very difficult for man to find.
A suggestion was made to hide it on the highest mountain peak, but as man was adventurous eventually one would climb and find happiness and share it with all.
A second elf suggested to hide it in the deepest part of the ocean, but another elf said that mankind was too clever and would eventually build a contraption to dive to the deepest depths and find it.
A third elf proposed to hide it on the moon, but it was decided that man was brave and always exploring new territory and would eventually find his way to the moon.
Finally a wise old elf came up with the perfect solution. They would hide happiness inside man himself. In all his searching in the universe man would surely never think to look inside himself to find happiness."
All too often we forget that happiness is to be found in us not in stuff. It's best found with other people, especially when we are working to make them happy instead of worrying about ourselves.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Embrace Your True Self
Why is it that some people are afraid to be themselves? Why are some afraid to let their true selves shine? I myself sometimes struggle with being who I really am, but have learned to be comfortable in my own skin just as I am, though it usually takes a little time to adjust. Often when I get into a new area or meet new people I am shy and don't let people see the real me. However it has rarely turned out bad when I relax and be myself.
I personally am often worried about being thought of as weird and not fitting in with others. I think that's the main reason that people are sometimes afraid to be themselves. They have a fear of rejection. We want people to like us, and so we do what we think they want us to do rather than we want to do.
The truth of the matter is that people like us best when we like ourselves best-when we are exactly who we are and not hiding beneath masks. No matter how odd some of our characteristics may seem we can almost always find someone who is just like us, and those that aren't usually appreciate the differences that make us unique.
Not only are we happier when we don't hide from the world we are also more productive. Whether its a quiet environment or one with lots of noise we all have our comfort zones. In order to grow we sometimes have to go outside of our comfort zones, but we also need time inside our comfort zones. I for one am fairly introverted and like quiet and calm to work in. My best ideas usually come when I have no one to talk to but myself, often on walks. Ideas will come to me when I am in loud groups as well, but they often develop fully when I have time to reflect by myself.
Whatever it is that you are, embrace it. Don't be ashamed if you are different than most people. You are the way you for a reason. You have talents and abilities that no one else has-let them shine.
I personally am often worried about being thought of as weird and not fitting in with others. I think that's the main reason that people are sometimes afraid to be themselves. They have a fear of rejection. We want people to like us, and so we do what we think they want us to do rather than we want to do.
The truth of the matter is that people like us best when we like ourselves best-when we are exactly who we are and not hiding beneath masks. No matter how odd some of our characteristics may seem we can almost always find someone who is just like us, and those that aren't usually appreciate the differences that make us unique.
Not only are we happier when we don't hide from the world we are also more productive. Whether its a quiet environment or one with lots of noise we all have our comfort zones. In order to grow we sometimes have to go outside of our comfort zones, but we also need time inside our comfort zones. I for one am fairly introverted and like quiet and calm to work in. My best ideas usually come when I have no one to talk to but myself, often on walks. Ideas will come to me when I am in loud groups as well, but they often develop fully when I have time to reflect by myself.
Whatever it is that you are, embrace it. Don't be ashamed if you are different than most people. You are the way you for a reason. You have talents and abilities that no one else has-let them shine.
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